May 12

Episode 06: Shitflix Episode 02

We sacrifice our time and sanity once again to review two more shitty movies in episode two of our Shitflix segment.

Episode 06: Shitflix Episode 02

Nhat assigns Tony the movie Attila, made in 2013.

Attila (2013)

When American soldiers inadvertently steal Attila the Hun’s secret riches, the wrath of the barbarian is awakened; the mummified warrior will stop at nothing to kill the intruders. Nhat clearly loses out this week because as boring as Attila was, at least it looked somewhat professionally put together and the acting wasn’t too terrible.

Tony assigns Nhat to watch The Black Knight Returns, made in 2009.

The Black Knight Returns (2009)

When an evil corporation threatens to unleash the black plague, Evan Grail, is recruited by his grandfather, Max, into the order of the Black Knights – a secret band of warriors who have been called upon in the past to fight evil and injustice. Evan learns that his parents were murdered by the same twisted villain, Simon Darth, who threatens to unleash the plague. Evan wears the uniform of the Black Knights and must fight Simon’s evil army to save the day.
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May 12

Episode 05: A Mother Of A Day

Tony and Nhat ruminate on Mother’s Day and remember their moms’ passings. Weird dreams about deceased relatives… Nhat apologizes to the Laotian community for last week’s episode, when he was trying to imitate what he thought their language would sound like after Tony chickened out. Nhat is Vietnamese and has a Cambodian sister-in-law, so he has carte blanche to make fun of Asians all he wants… but still apologizes because people are too sensitive nowadays.They talk about families and the irresponsibility of the Catholic religion, which then leads into Tony’s roof problems and then Nhat somehow convinces himself that he and Tony could fix Tony’s roof themselves, even though neither has had any experience at all.

They discuss the Kvelertak, Gojira, and Mastodon show at the Ogden on May 5, 2014. Nhat was glaring at the VIP section the whole time because they were taking up valuable seat space, hoping they would fall so they’d let other people have the seats. They talk about drawing the human body and what makes a good artist. They remember some of the weird stuff Nhat used to do like chugging coffee and eating a pancake and egg breakfast under a minute because Tony was harassing him for eating so slowly. Nhat is annoyed that the new Godzilla is too fat and is wondering what his food source is and how sustainable it is. They briefly talk about the next upcoming comics movies.

Episode 05: A Mother Of A Day

Intro song of the week:

Happy Mothers Day

Outro song for the week:
“Divinations” – Mastodon
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May 5

Episode 04: (Part 2) Making Wookiee Cookies for May The 4th

We figured that we might’ve had a few bumps and scrapes with this cooking/baking episode, but it turned out even worse than expected. Tony misread the instructions and pours all of the ingredients in the bowl at once, only to have to fish the chocolate chips back out so that it can be properly mixed.

Mercifully, they actually didn’t turn out too badly. Here is the recipe… Hopefully, you’ll prep a little better than we did. I don’t see how you could do worse.

Wookiee Cookies

Yield:

Makes about 3 dozen cookies

Ingredients:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup milk chocolate chips
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preparation:

Preheat the oven to 375°F.

Put the flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a mixing bowl. Stir with the wooden spoon until well mixed. Set aside.

Put the butter, brown sugar, and granulated sugar in another mixing bowl. Using the electric mixer set on high speed, beat together until well blended and creamy, about 3 minutes. (You can do this with a wooden spoon, but it will take longer.) Beat in the eggs and vanilla extract. Add the flour mixture and stir with the wooden spoon until blended. Stir in the chocolate chips.

Scoop up a rounded tablespoonful of the dough and drop onto a baking sheet. Repeat until you have used up all the dough. Be sure to leave about 1 inch between the cookies because they spread as they bake.

Using pot holders, put the baking sheets in the oven. Bake until golden brown, about 10 minutes.

Again, using pot holders, remove the baking sheets from the oven. Lift the cookies from the baking sheets with a spatula, and place on cooling racks. Let cool completely.

The Star Wars Cookbook by Robin Davis

Follow us on Twitter & Instagram at @thelofishow 

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May 5

Episode 04 (Part 1): May The 4th Be With You (It’s All Just Sphincters, Man)

Tony and Nhat go to see Spider-Man 2 and are less than impressed. Nhat thinks everyone looks strange and might be having an acid flashback. Tony surprising scores it less than Nhat did – Nhat with a score of C+ and Tony gave it just a C.The disappointment continues to the next day, which is Free Comic Book Day, where they both show up late and manage to grab two measly comics from a picked through pile. To make things interesting, they both try to pick out comics for each other that neither would be likely to read. Each of them has to do a quick “book report” on their terrible assignments. And then they go off on a tangent of work, retail, Kevin Smith’s “Clerks,” sphincters, and whatever else comes to mind.

Episode 04 (Part 1): May The 4th Be With You (It’s All Just Sphincters, Man)

Featured intro song this week:
“Star Wars Cantina” – Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Featured outro song this week:
“Her Name In Blood” – Strung Out
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April 28

Episode 03 (Part 2): Fictitious Death Metal Album Covers Episode 01

We follow up on our segment in episode two where we draw names/languages and create fictitious death metal band covers, complete with song and album titles.

Tony drew the name Papegoja Mörk, which roughly translates to Parrot Dark in Swedish (if you trust Google Translate, that is).  I made the mistake of thinking that Tony would remember that his band name was Parrot Dark, so he misremembered that it had something to do with a lizard, hence, his album cover.

Episode 03 (Part 2): Fictitious Death Metal Album Covers Episode 01

Here is Tony’s album cover for Papegoja Mörk’s album “Shazbot”
 
Here is Tony’s album cover back for “Shazbot”
Album Song List:
1. Death From Below
2. Death From Above
3. Death From The Side
4. You Cannot Escape Death
5. I Wanna Kill You To Death
6. I Can Only Pray For A Painless Death
Papegoja Mörk is:
Sven – Guitar, Lead Vocals
Thor – Drums
Kasper – Bass

Nhat drew the name Geflügel Bauchspeicheldrüse, which roughly translates to Poultry Pancreas.

Here is Nhat’s album cover for Geflügel Bauchspeicheldrüse’s album, “King Of Fuck Mountain”
And here is the back cover for “King Of Fuck Mountain”
Album Song List:
1. Blood Goatee
2. Gouge Of The Butt
3. When The Goat Cries
4. Caress Of The Mace
5. Drown In Your Face
Geflügel Bauchspeicheldrüse is:
Klaus “Sad” Klaun – Bass, Lead Vocals
David “Tiger” Baum – Guitars
“Thumper” Bürger – Drums
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April 28

Episode 03 (Part 1): Take This Job And Podcast About It

We both work at corporate hellholes and talk a bit about our every day frustrations and our very first jobs. We go a little bit into death, life and Marvel movies and Godzilla. Nhat asks Tony the question of the week, which is “Would you have sex with Mystique if she could morph into anyone you wanted, provided that the last person was yourself?” There is some confusion as to what genitals she would have under this guise.

Episode 03 (Part 1): Take This Job And Podcast About It

Intro song of the week:

“Exist To Exit” – Arch Enemy
Featured outro song this week:
“Inner Sanctum” – Celtic Frost
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April 21

Episode 02: Jesus Has Resin

We briefly discuss how little we know about Easter, 420, drugs, more drugs, music, and give ourselves a creative project where random words and languages are selected by a roll of the dice and we each have to design an album cover for a fictitious band with the name/language we selected. We have to design the front cover artwork, possible band member pics on the back and the names of 5 songs (EP length). Obviously, we will be describing this monstrosity as best we can, but we will also be posting the album covers on Instagram @TheLoFiShow and through Twitter under the same ID.

Episode 02: Jesus Has Resin

Intro song of the week:

“Smoke Two Joints” – The Toyes
Other songs featured:

“L’Enfant Sauvage” – Gojira
“Breathing – Triptykon
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April 13

Episode 01: Shitflix Episode 01

Tony and Nhat are two Texas metal-head transplants now living in Colorado. We give a brief introduction of who are and what the show is about and start episode 1 of Shitflix, where we try to give each other the shittiest movies available on Netflix to review. Nhat gives Tony “Adventures of Thunderstorm: Return of Thor” and Tony gives Nhat “Gor.”  Both are fucking terrible.  Find out which one of us had to endure more pain. I couldn’t even find an official trailer for Gor, even though it was distributed through MGM.

Episode 01: Shitflix Episode 01

Adventures of Thunderstorm: Return of Thor (2011) (Official Trailer)

Gor (1987)

Intro song of the week:
“The Ultra-Violence” – Death Angel
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