In episode 3 of our Fictitious Death Metal Album Covers segment, we roll the die to get Poland for Tony and Japan for Nhat. Tony’s band name is Zabójca Sperma, which translates into Killer Sperm and Nhat’s band name is Katatsumuri Shokuniku Shori, which is Japanese for Snail Slaughter.
Here is Tony’s album cover for Zabójca Sperma’s “A Shot To The Face”:
Album Song List:
1. White Explosion
2. Sticky Icky Icky
3. Blinded By The Goo
4. No Time For Love, Dr. Jones
5. What Hath The Gods Brought
6. Break The Seal Of Love
7. Ball Drainer
Here is Nhat’s album cover for Katatsumuri Shokuniku Shori’s “Time For Slime”:
Album Song List:
1. Sluggish Death
2. Shell Of A Man
3. Bad Case Of Gastropod
4. Escargot To Hell
5. Slime To Kill
6. I’ll Stab You ‘Til You Love Me
“Exit Strategy Of A Wrecking Ball” – Diablo Swing Orchestra
It’s National Lazy Day and National S’mores Day. Nhat quits Facebook and gets higher than he’s ever gotten in his life and swears off drugs… but we’ll see how long that lasts. Nhat’s compiled a “best of” compilation of sound clips from The Lo Fi Show strictly out of boredom and plays them. We discuss the fact that we should probably be dead with all the dumb stuff we’ve done and trying to get out of social media.
They talk about trying to start depresseddating.com and Tony’s family going to see Lady Gaga and Baby Metal. We talk about life and the cosmos, the future, and the primordial soup. Nhat thinks that Michael Bay and Tyler Perry should join forces to make the shittiest movie on earth, “Madea Goes To Space.”
It’s National Best Friends Day, National Family Day, National Watermelon Day and a number of other silly days. Nhat and Tony start off talking about how time is perceived differently as you grow older. Nhat mentions how Blackbeard was killed and the legend surrounding his corpse. From there, we go into some morbid subjects. We celebrate National Family Day by mentioning alleged killers in our family. Tony sings a song for National Friendship Day. We make fun of strange death metal band names.
We briefly review Guardians of the Galaxy, which, we confirmed that using the words “Stars Wars” when talking about this movie wasn’t entirely too far-fetched in our humble opinion. Our bet was finally settled… back a few episodes ago, Tony didn’t think anyone was actually listening, so he bet Nhat lunch that we wouldn’t get anyone tweeting us to confirm that they were listeners by episode 20.
Sure enough, Annaleis (@wiretechgirl) from the Dark Angels And Pretty Freaks podcast tweeted that she was listening to our podcast while making dinner right when Tony and I were waiting to watch Guardians this past Wednesday evening. So Nhat won the bet and Tony takes him to Smashburger (it could’ve been a lot worse). We talk about movies that should’ve never had sequels. We wondered if getting Vin Diesel was really necessary for the voice of Groot. We take a light-hearted look at ebola.
We have another segment of “Who’s Shittier?” with another round of crap bands.
Intro song of the week:
“Gravimetric Time Dilation” – Allegaeon
Outro song of the week:
“Selkies: The Endless Obsession” – Between The Buried And Me
It’s National Parents’ Day and National Scotch Day. We talk way too long about the band Dew Scented than we were anticipating. Then we go into what a chicken salad is expected to consist of. Tony still thinks his days at work are numbered and Nhat tries to get him to initiate violence in the workplace. We discuss the futility of relationships and if there is some sort of internal expiration date on them. We talk more about parents, growing up anti-social and getting into fights. Nhat has always had an aversion to sharp iron fences because he could imagine them gouging out his eyes. We discuss bad first date movies and the upcoming Marvel movies.
Today is National Ice Cream Day and National Lollipop Day. Nhat thinks that after a certain age, guys can’t really eat lollipops without making it look like they’re fellating it – or else it just sits uncomfortably in your cheek. They argue about what counts as “Last Saturday,” for some dumb-ass reason. Tony mentions Ashley Madison to his co-workers for some strange reason and then has to explain it to his boss (or whomever) and he shows disgust in a “Mormonly” way, which Tony can’t seem to describe, even though he was in person to see it a mere two days ago. We talk about religion and the apparent mythology of it all.We discuss the upcoming Avengers 2 movie and Tony thinks it’s too much all at once. Nhat thinks people are too quick to go racist now, after Mastodon’s Twitter account got hacked and all they posted was n-bomb racial slurs.. so racism is really affecting the youth again. Tony read that Spider-Man 3 is in danger because of the poor effort in Spider-Man 2. Nhat brings the hate to Jamie Foxx. Nhat also thinks Beta Ray Bill was a space anteater. They wonder if now that Thor is a woman, would she still wield the hammer or another weapon?
Tony sends “The Assumption Song” to our Twitter, but forgets to title it, so no one knows if they want to click on it. We play it for you. We also play the “Cunt Song,” which is the other video Tony sent without a title. Tony tries to get Nhat a date, in the creepiest way possible. We talk a bit about older rock bands.
Intro song of the week:
“Losing My Mind” – Chimaira
Featured album of the week (Judas Priest – Redeemer of Souls):
We review two more stinkers this week and Tony got stuck with the 2 hour poop extraordinaire, Robin Hood: Ghost of Sherwood Forest… We have a trailer for Robin Hood and then follow the link to watch the entire Badlanders movie.
Today is National French Fries Day and National Beans And Franks Day. Tony and Nhat go to Juicy Burgers & Fries to celebrate the occasion. Nhat orders fries, but gets none, but doesn’t get charged. They end up giving him free fries because of the blessed occasion. Nhat has a horrific dream to share and Tony talks about the time he was fighting off zombies and burglars in his sleep and managed to punch the wall in mid-dream.
We find out that Tony produces extra saliva in his mouth (along with producing extra sweat), so much so that he’ll occasionally choke on his own spit for no apparent reason. Tony’s co-worker is let go mysteriously after 16 years with the same company as a productive worker and Tony thinks he may be next. Colorado, unfortunately, is an At-Will Employment state, so people can be let go with no real justification needed and they talk about how or if something like that can be changeable.
We pay our respects to Tommy Ramone and play “Sheena Is A Punk Rocker” in tribute.
Today’s episode starts with Tony hinting about how he would conspire to kill Nhat. Nhat said it would probably be his best revenge, is to have Tony put in jail for his murder. Both of them agree that Tony isn’t handsome enough to get a modeling contract like that good-looking ex-con guy to get out of there. C’mon women.. seriously? I thought you guys were supposed to be smarter than us. We discuss going to the Cherry Creek Arts Festival and paying way too much for lunch because of the bad setup of food booths. Tony says that Nhat is always hungry and dubs him “Mr. Tapeworm.” He then makes up his own variation of Mr. Tapeworm with the melody of Mr. Sandman.
We also discuss bad album covers and Tony remembers that he used to like lame bands like Exciter. We play a bit of the album and as we had predicted, we lost interest when the vocals came on. We talk about bad vocalists and then go onto giving Christian teen relationship advice, even though we know nothing about Christians, teens or relationships, for that matter.
It’s National Camera Day and National Waffle Iron Day. Nhat’s apartment complex catches on fire the last night his brother and sister were staying at his place. So this wasn’t actually explained in the podcast, but the title of this one stems from the time right after the fire was contained.. His brother remarks, “Houston may be ugly, but we don’t have shit like that happening….”
Yes, because buildings just spontaneously burst into flames every other day here. It was just an absurd statement from my brother, who, with his girlfriend, are always trying to bring Colorado down a notch or two because they’re stuck in Houston. We’re not entirely sure why. We also talk about whiny celebrities, being offensive to drum up tweets and attention in general and Nhat believes that the Ewok language may have had its roots in the Cambodian language.
We have more bands for our “Who’s Shittier?” segment and there’s some real crap this week. We discuss how we feel obligated to maintain appearances online, even though we don’t really need to.
We get a little serious for the first part of this podcast and talk about mental illness in the family, deadbeat friends and just life in general. Then we go over the pros and cons of working in corporate America and what to expect if you’re thinking of “dwelving” (as Tony would say) into that world. Nhat makes a bet with Tony that we’ll eventually get a tweet from a listener before the 20th episode and winner buys lunch.